I miss you

Everyday I just miss your presence in my life. The happy and sad moments that we shared through the ups and downs of life that we went through. Others may not understand it, but deep in our hearts there is this kind of bond that could not be explained.

Maybe we're destined to meet each other and become one another's place of solace and comfort. I still remember the first time we met when we just bonded like we've known each other like forever. Its beyond any other friendship. We're just two souls of a same kind joined together. These are the happiest days in my life that I would cherish forever...

I still remembered that there are days in my life that was rough and difficult but everything does not matter when I received a call or sms from you. The joy or happiness could not be explained albeit the difficult circumstances that I'm in. You have comforted me and gave me encouragement that really boosted my spirit no matter how tough things were getting. And this really kept me going on fighting no matter how difficult it is.

Deep in my heart, I just kept working to finish all the works for the day in order to go back and see you. The moments like a simple dinner or chatting over a drink was the highlight for my day. Maybe we couldn't afford the luxuries in life, but we still have each other no matter what happens. My world is complete with you in the picture no matter where or when.

Now that we're far a part, I missed your presence even more. We both got our career to work on. I'm really sorry that at times I was really busy until I forgot to contact you. Yes I admit its an honest mistake on my part. Sometimes, I wish that we could just return to those days we had together. Above all, I just wanna say that I miss you so much!!

Forgiveness

Its been quite sometime that I felt burdened with this issue.

I just can't gather enough courage to ask forgiveness from a good friend whom I have hurt. Its been haunting me for quite some time. All I can do is just to pray that he will forgive me someday.. Its kinda a personal issue that he shared with me. I thought of helping by asking help of someone else. I should have known that what a friend needed in times like that is just a friend to listen. Thats is all needed. I have wrong and felt guilty eversince.

its kinda a very close friend whom I can easily share anything I like or dun like freely. There is no second thought about things. How I wish things never turnout this way. I just pray for your forgiveness and try to moveon. its been a hard journey considering the tears I have shed over my guilt. I don't think I can forgive myself for what I have done either. I just pray that the angel will take care of you and guide you. Although I can't be at ur side to share your good or bad days, all I hope is you will have a great life and future ahead of you.

p/s its not easy to break off from a bff. it really hurts and pains me that I thought of just drain myself in alcohol and forget about it. But I have realise that it isn't the solution to the problem. I wish I can gather my strength one of these day to just say "I'm sorry" and "can you forgive me?"

Growing in Faith

Since coming down KL for my internship, I have really grown up to be a better person. thank God for that. I joined cell groups and made new friends who are mostly new believers in Jesus. It really amazes me how new believer can have such strong faith, whereas myself a 3rd generation Christian were back sliding.

However, that is gonna change. Its been way to long that I have been stuck in this loop hole of faithlessness and emptyness. Sometimes, as a Christian you may know the truth that Jesus teaches, but it just seems to be difficult and unpratical to follow the high standards that Jesus set for us.

Repentance, humility, forgiveness, kindness, caring and loving person is what I sought to be in the future. I know that it means going against the worldly values and its gonna be very difficult. But thats life, full of challenge and uncertainty. I just need to know that "How Great is our God" to keep me going on.

Also special thanks to my cell members for praying for my sister. She don't need any operation. Praise God for that. I was getting worried about her condition, and asked my cell members to pray for her. God works in marvellous ways when we never expect it to happen.

p/s hopefully I don't get sabotaged for my birthday this weekend. I'm just worried what they might be doing to me.

lesson of the week, in difficult times, when we need help, then we'll discover who our true friends are. fair wheather or storms and trials kinda friends.

Barbaric and Childish government of Malaysia

NO BN
NO CORRUPTION
NO INJUSTICE
NO DISCRIMINATION
NO CRIME
NO Cow head protest and Church Torching

The current BN government is going to be six feet under the ground soon. Or I just hope it will. I wonder whether anyone would ever be surprise when this happen in the near future. By the rate the current government is running, I’ll probably put my bet that it is heading towards its own destruction. The PM is a child born with silver spoon and had many skeletons hidden and probably stuffed to the max inside his cupboard, judging by the amount of scandals that he is involved in. From the case of the Mongolian woman’s name that bloggers cannot mention or you will be regarded as a national threat by the government, to all the corruption allegation regarding the Defense Ministry’s handling of lobbying to buy jet fighter, first national space ‘tourist’, and latest RM100 million worth of two jet engines that were sanctioned by US as equipment that were supposed to be taken care of, was being stolen and sold to South Africa, and the flip flop on economics.

Now let us recap on the scandal regarding this disgraceful and disgusting PM. I was rather shocked to know that the Police escort for the former DPM was involved in the Mongolian model’s murder case. It was a case of a sacrificial lamb to begin with. The two police officers were sentenced guilty while the political analyst was freed. Although the police officers were sentenced (technically as in paper they are dead and most probably started a new life overseas with new identity with never to return order) as their face were never reviewed to the public and their dead faces were never shown at all.

As all conspiracy theories suggest that the officer’s identity may be dead with innocent illegal immigrant from Indonesia was used to carry out the sentence. The question was, logically, there is no reason for the officer to kill a foreigner with no motive except an order from their superior who most probably is the DPM at the time. More over the fashion of how the innocent victim was blasted with C4 bombs into gazillion pieces like dust was done probably because the dead body still contains DNA of the murderer.

The only way to make DNA sample of murderer impossible to find is to blast it into pieces. This story did not end here; there is another part where the victim who is fluent in Russian maybe involved in the lobbying of the fighter jet of the Defense Ministry. How money was spent on such lobbyist remains unknown. It is a question of what animal would murder a person and blast the corpse into pieces. I guess although the court has made its decision we must remember that justice does not exist especially in Malaysian court.

There were the judges buying scandals and others that I do not want to delve into which is describe as a normal practice by a minister. Another question is where on Earth can you buy a C4 bomb and use it to blast people. If the Defense ministry were to come up with a report that the bombs were stolen and being used in the black market, I seriously doubt what the defense ministry is doing. Am I even safe to walk on the street? The answer is definitely a big NO.
Another is regarding the defense ministry contract to buy new fighter jet where it is a normal scene in Malaysia to find that the jet ended falling down like one those Vietnam War movies where planes just fall from sky as if there is no science behind the design of it. Another issue is regarding the responsibility of the minister who was in-charge during the so called lost jet engines which is reportedly to cost some RM50M each. According to the PM he is open about the case. Then Malaysian will demand him to openly declare that he resign as PM and from any ministerial position in order to take full responsibility of the so called lost engines and other yet to be announce lost items from the defense ministry. I wonder if the C4 bomb will be included as part of the lost item since anyone may just drop by the Defense Ministry of Malaysia and pick any toy that they want. The Defense ministry of Malaysia must have been opening its door too much that any gadget is open for the public to take and use. I’ll not be surprise if any of them found in any soon to be world war by any rogue nation as identified by the US government. No wonder why Malaysia has so many terrorist citizens since the Defense Ministry has been supplying them FOC for training I guess. If the PM has no solution to the problem, I OPENLY demand him to resign.

In addition, as the world is facing the worst global recession since the Great Depression, I wonder if the PM has any plan to solve the issue. It seems that the PM as an economic graduate has no grasp in economic after all. According to him, there is no difference between a 6% annual GDP and 9%annual GDP. Then, my question is does he even realize the big gap between the difference in the level of development of Malaysia and Singapore? Both sound similar? I beg to differ sir. FYI Malaysia will not achieve the so called develop nation status by 2020 as we have such good finance minister in the PM whom has no understanding of economic at all to spearhead the country’s economy. What is the strategy to be a develop nation? Until today there has not been a single blue print about it. Moreover, the so called blueprint will be postponed until next year. Well, Vision 2020 can be post-poned until 2050 I guess. Since we have such undecided, spendthrift and corrupted government with all sort of leakages in their economic plan. The current huge budget deficit that the PM plans will incur a big hole in the pocket of the future generation. For once, I do not understand why there is a need for the government to pay more than 10 times the actual cost of building a toll road by paying a yearly premium to subsidize such toll road. Concessionaire were given long term to milk money out the poor citizen each time they use it. In addition, the contract allows them to increase the toll rate every few years. Why not the government just built it on its own?

Another point that I have been telling everyone is the Malaysian government is going broke each day. Since Petronas’ earning for the year 2009 has halved from the 2008, the BN government has no source of income to fund its budget. Hence, the PM resorted to introduce new taxes and selling down its share of GLC. It is a no brainer thing to come to such conclusion. If you have a lot of financial commitment that you could not afford, definitely you will resort to selling your property to raise money to service it. As such, the government will be resorting to the same tactic. It the right of every Malaysian to get an audit and account on how the money raised from the sale of the GLC shares are being used by the government.

The call by Penang Chief Minister, Lim Guan Eng to the federal government to have open tender for all its projects is one to start with. Also there should be a new constitution that is amended that allows the people to reject any project by the government through national referendum as used by most western countries where a national vote of referendum can be held with more than a million people signing the petition. The first project I’ll propose for national referendum is the building of a convention center by the Naza group in a land swap agreement. It is illogical to proceed with it as it is an utter waste of public fund.

Instead nationalizing the public transport and integrating the whole country’s public transport should be done. The state of Malaysia’s public transport is a disgrace and heartbreaking. It is unbelievable that there is no integrated electronic card paying system that can be used in all public transport like in Singapore and the price of public transport is also expensive as it is not efficient. Hence more people prefer to drive on their own. If Singapore can do it why not Malaysia?

Another suggestion is that all the money the government gained through the GLC share liquidation should be used to fund the SMEs and new entrepreneur instead. By doing so, the government will be able to sow many seed of potential business making by the private sector. This is logical as there are many talented Malaysian out there with creative ideas. The money must be disbursed out not based on race or anything but only meritocracy principal of the best potential projects.

Latest scandal is the involvement of the government in trying to gain political mileage by fanning Malay-Islam fanaticism by supporting Muslim to protest the Allah ruling. The result is two Churches being torched and another failed attempt at a Catholic Church in the capital city. The government is practicing double standard in not arresting any Muslim involved in the protest. Generally any UMNO supported and organized protest that is illegal is given a pass and others will face police arrest. From Bersih to Hindraf rally, and the candle light vigil in 2009 saw the police going hard against the peaceful protester by provoking them with water canons and chemical like tear gasses. Meanwhile, Cow head protest, Allah court ruling and now Church torching will be given a pass by the police. Next, I predict is Buddhist temple torching, Sikh temple and others soon to come. If a mosque were to be torched, the whole non-muslim population will be sentenced to death is the only verdict I can think of. Since Malays and Muslim are the invincible or rather UMNO is greater than Allah. They will prosecute anyone they don’t like. Until today there is none Christian minister dare to challenge Najib and his idiosyncrasies. I really wonder what is their stand against Church torching? It is a known fact that the government does not give money to build any house of worship except mosque. Now, they want to even destroy churches and Hindu temples build from the believers own pocket?

If PAS an Islamic party can come to term that Christianity and Judaism with Islam is part of Abrahamic faith is allowed to use the term Allah, what is the justification UMNO is giving? UMNO > ALLAH is the only one I can think of right now.

Allah

Seriously why does the BN especially co-horts in UMNO being so Racist. After so much pomp and loud cheer of 1Malaysia, the so called agenda of PM is sinking into the deep ocean once they reverse the Allah ruling by the court to allow Catholic church to use it. The main reason is the use of the word Allah will confuse the majority Muslim. If they are really so confused as a Muslim believing in Islam and have no faith in their God, why bother to continue to be one? It is like as if Muslim cannot use the word "GOD" because their concept of god differs from Christian's trinity God. So yeah, use another word that Islam can claim that it belongs to their God in English. It is the funniest joke ever created by the faithless Muslim. UMNO definitely will become become a Christian party if Allah were allowed to be used to refer to Christian God.

UMNO is shooting its own ship and making a plan for it to sink in the next general election. It is a intolerable party that is faithless as a Muslim. Since they do not have faith in their god, I advice them to find another religion. If the mere use of a word can cause such a havoc imagine if I enter the mosque, the place might torn into pieces since the act of a Christian enter it will convert all of them to Christianity. That will be the childish faithless Muslim's claim.

A word of warning to UMNO is prepare to be sink forever if it dares to challenge the court ruling. Christians especially in Sabah and Sarawak are really angry with the UMNO regarding this issue. Currently the federal government has already lose the peninsular Malaysia to the opposition party which are more rational and secular stand that supports fairness. If they were to continue make an issue out of this, I suggest the churches council in Sabah and Sarawak to unite and vote anything but BN in the coming election. Then, we'll see what will happen.

After all PAS as an Islamic party sound better than a faithless Malay Muslim of UMNO. As a start all the MP for Sabah and Sarawak in the federal government must have a joint statement that they will resign enmassed if the BN continue to politicise on this issue. If these MP do not make their stand clear and understood by the PM and federal government, they can kiss their political career goodbye for betraying Jesus.

As a start, Muslim bumiputera's call for the rest to acknowledge that Islam is Malaysia official religion is well understood. But that does not give them the right to prohibit others from professing and practicing their religion. Moreover, it has been about 50 years that Christian majority states like Sabah and Sarawak were subjugated to bow down to Islamic rule when our states and people are Christian. the minority Muslim are being the leaders in the state. If their majority rules the day rule were to apply I suggest that the whole administration in both states were to hire Christian than Muslim currently. Our willingless to bow down to such rule has its limit and time. Do not challenge our patience and treat Christian bumiputeras as second class citizens. If these were to continue, Sabah and Sarawak were better to come out of Malaysia and take all the non muslim of peninsular Malaysia with it. And we will see how far peninsular Malaysia will progress since their claim that non Muslims are exploiting them.

It is really childish of UMNO to even start playing a religious card on the christian comunity when Malaysia a small Islamic country have so much fuss with a simple word Allah when compared to the world's most populous country of Indonesia which do not have such issue. Moreover, the bahasa bibbles comes from Indonesia. So why so big a fuss when there is no problem in Indonesia. The Home Ministry's decision to ban the use of Allah is equivalent to shooting on its own foot when BN is still limping from the severe car accident that it suffered in the last general election. Maybe an amputation is a better prognosis to this problem than continue allow a severely injured leg to continue living.

It is time for Sabah and Sarawak to prepare stepping up its call for independence and put an end to being treated as second class citizen like the apartheid policy in South Africa in about two decades ago.